『亭主を早死にさせる10ヶ条』
健康を保つ為には「野菜中心のバランスの取れた食事をとる事と、適度な運動を継続する事が良い」と、しばしば耳にすると思います。
中には、『糖尿病』や『高血圧』などの生活習慣病の方で、医師から強く勧められている方もいると思います。
でも、分かっちゃいるけど・・・ですよね。
この話は、日本だけでなくアメリカでも同じようです。
40年以上前に、アメリカ人のジーン・メイヤー博士が『亭主を早死にさせる10ヶ条』を唱えました。
今でも充分通用する内容ですので、紹介したいと思います。
未亡人になりたい方は必見です。
『亭主を早死にさせる10ヶ条』
- 夫を太らせなさい
体重増加は『糖尿病』『腎臓や肝臓の病気』『心筋梗塞』や『脳梗塞』を起こすよ - いつも座らせておきなさい
運動はもってのほか。テレビゲームなどをさせておくのが一番 - 飽和脂肪酸をたくさん食べさせなさい
脂肉、天然のバターをたくさん食べさせなさい。ゆでた魚は避けること - 塩分の多い食物に慣れさせなさい
『高血圧』には塩分がいい - コーヒーをガブガブ飲ませなさい
「『心筋梗塞』を起こす」と証明されていないが、少なくともカフェインが不眠を起こさせる - 酒を飲ませなさい。砂糖など甘い物を沢山食べさせなさい
- タバコを吸わせ続ける
タバコは未亡人の味方 - リラックスさせてはいけない
適切な浪費によってリラックスの機会を奪うこと - 夜更かしさせなさい
コーヒーと深夜テレビ、時には友人を招くなどで - 始終文句を言っていじめなさい、お金と子どもの文句が一番良い
Ten Quick Ways to Kill Your Husband
By Dr. Jean Mayer,
Professor of Nutrition, Harvard University
- Fatten him up. Excessive overweight increases his chance of succumbing to diabetes, liver and kidney disease, stroke and heart attack.
- Keep him sitting down. Strongly discourage any departure from sedentary life. Don’t let him walk to the station – drive him. If he gets any ideas about gardening, playing football with the kids, or the like, switch to a football game on TV, suggest a long ride in the country or call friends over for a slow game of bridge. Be generous; if he plays a golf, buy him a golf cart.
- Feed him lots of saturated fats. Give him all the foods he loves that don’t love him: good country butter, well-marbled steaks, deep fried potatoes and chicken, most of all, bacon and eggs. Avoid broiled fish; in fact, never broil anything if you can fry it.
- Load him down with salt. This is likely to push his blood pressure, and if it’s already a little high, you can push it right off the top of the gauge while you send his life expectancy down to the bottom of the chart.
- Ply him with coffee. There is no proof that it will give him a heart attack any sooner, but there’s a possibility, so why miss a chance? At any rate, caffeine may promote insomnia, which is definitely injurious to health.
- Keep him well supplied with liquor. Make his drink stiff and make them sweet or sweet and fat – Manhattans or brandy alexanders fill the bill.
- Don’t let him run out of cigarettes. They are the would-be widow’s best friend. Buy him a lighter; he’ll be reluctant to quit and waste the expense.
- Don’t let him relax. Judicious overspending will prevent him from being able to afford a vacation – and the chance of exercise, relax, and escape from your cooking.
- Keep him up late. In addition to coffee and late-night television, frequent entertainment of friends and reserving bedtime for bringing up worrisome matters should wear him down and prepare the way for the “cardiovascular storm” that will carry him off and allow you to get back to regular hours.
- Never let up the nagging and the worrying. Money and children are hot topics and, for good measure, throw in a question about the man in the office who just got a promotion.
Note : The summary of the original article is provided here to promote public awareness of healthier lifestyle. The full article originally appeared in The Ledger, on July 17, 1974.
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